Standing here alone after dark while the wind brushes against my face, I wonder what I want to be
As I walk
Deeper into the dark
I see a car fly by every five minutes or so, each driver dropping off the same look at me
“Who are you? And why are you here?”
“You don’t seem to fit in with your peers”
That long look
And that calm wind
Seems to only make me wish more I could meet the end
The end of the anxiety and confusion
The end of being stuck behind this delusion
Or illusion
The illusion of control
While at the same time I feel like I’m just a pawn everyone just loves to hold
Like I’m just that last drop of glue that helps their ideas shape and mold
I feel useless
I feel lost
I feel betrayed as Jesus should have while he was on the cross
If only I could forgive
Then start to forget
If only I wasn’t buried so deep in this
If only I wasn’t on the edge, standing over defeat and failure, if only I hadn’t tried to take that step to get across to the platform of peace, comfort and bliss
If only I hadn’t taken that step, missed and slipped



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